Back in January, I wrote a post in which I gave myself permission to let things be. “Percolating,” I called it. Well, it took a lot longer than I thought. Letting decisions come to me in an organic, easygoing manner is not my forte. I have too much pent-up energy for that. Trying to “let go” makes me want to rise up riot, metaphorically speaking. But this time, I did it. I let things stew sufficiently, and now I’m moving forward.
I’ve been uncharacteristic silent here lately. While I consider myself an open book most of the time, I’ve been holding some things close to home this summer. Perhaps you already saw that I’ve pulled the plug on Divorced Before 30 and my book project. Huge decision. For nearly three years, I wrote, edited, and built up an online community. I tweeted, I Facebooked, and I landed a literary agent. For the most part, I had a ball, but after months of deliberating next steps, I woke up one day and realized that I wanted to let it go.
That project doesn’t define me. More than wanting to be a published memoirist or a well-loved blogger, I want to have a satisfying everyday life. I love writing, but I also love coaxing kids out of mud puddles, leafing through a magazine in the living room wingback, and taking a hot bath at the end of a long day. Regular person stuff. This is not to say that I won’t come up with another wild goal six months from now.
It’s been a stressful year in a lot of ways, but it’s nothing that some downtime and ice cream can’t fix. I’ll be starting a new job in a couple of weeks, and making the decision to leave my current position was incredibly difficult. I’ve been there four and a half years and have grown so fond of the people that it feels a little like college graduation. Tears have been shed. And yet I’m very excited for a new challenge.
At home, I am happily working on a modest summer checklist—things like putting together a baby book for Linus and having a garage sale with my mom. The fam and I are still going strong on frugal family fun, and feeding the ducks at a nearby pond is the best thing ever as far as the kids are concerned. Oh, and by the way, “the baby,” as we like to call him, is no longer a baby! He walks around the house like a drunken sailor, lunging for crayons and knocking over the dogs’ dishes. And Miss Linnea? She’s gearing up for preschool by nailing this potty-training thing down. Most days, she does.
That, folks, is where I’ve been.
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I Want to Know
Are you an open book, or do you tend to keep things to yourself?
Have you noticed a difference in your sharing online versus in real life?
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I’m an open book to a certain degree, I would say I share about 65% of my real life online through social media, but the other 35% I keep close to my chest for a variety of reasons. I’ve kind of found there isn’t a need to share every little detail about their life online. There needs to be a separation between a private life and public online life, not saying I have a big following and need my privacy its just civil to keep things to yourself and among my real life friends. Otherwise when people interact with you and it doesnt go well, they’ll fear it will end up online, and I never want that to happen.
Its something I’ve struggled with the past few months. Lately my dating life has well deserved the title of Misadventures in dating with the Adam Wells, and I tell stories to my friends of how my dates go and somehow end badly, almost every time. A few friends have suggested that I make a blog about it, but I can’t because then I’d be as bad as Taylor Swift because it seems anytime Taylor Swift has a bad dating experience it turns into a song, and I have too much decency to sink to that level.
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Ah, dating. Such fodder for writing, but I don’t think I’d want to write about it in the present tense either. Good for you for setting some boundaries. I must admit that I did have fun writing about my dating past in my book, but I was careful to give people pseudonyms.
good to hear it!…great goals and enjoy it. I too have made some switches. Feels good.
Thanks, Jodi! I just saw your Facebook update on little R. Sounds like you have some positive momentum going, too. Hugs to you and your sweet fam.
I wrote a horrendous – irredeeemably bad – novel during and following my divorce. It helped, even if the world will never see it. The characters did things I couldn’t, and expressed things that I wouldn’t otherwise expresss. It helped.
It also helped to be done, and to stop defining myself in terms of the marriage that didn’t work. 2.0 turned out to be a huge upgrade for me, too.
Godspeed, Emma! It is great that you are moving on to other projects. You are a delight.
Love it, Chad! It sounds like your novel served an important purpose, but I seriously doubt that it was AS BAD as you think.
I’m so glad that Marriage 2.0 has been great for you, too!
Cheap fun I recently found…Pet Smart or similar….Lots of animals to look out and air conditioned when it is super hot out.
I can relate to this post in so many ways, Emma. Good for you for knowing your boundaries! I found you through Divorced Before 30 and enjoyed your writing and following the stories of others. I’m sure it was a huge and difficult decision to make to shut it down, but it sounds like it was the right one for you and your family! I love, love, love “It’s been a stressful year in a lot of ways, but it’s nothing that some downtime and ice cream can’t fix.” I screamed “YES!” out loud when I read that. Such a great attitude. I’m going to adopt that one. I can so, so relate.
I am an open book, and blogging was such a great outlet for me to share the things I couldn’t necessarily share in real life (at least not as honestly or easily), which is why I’ve finally returned to it and plan to stick with it this time.
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You and I are SO on the same page with this. This is why I have struggled to write much of late too. I guess I am percolating as well and deciding how much I want to keep doing and how much I’d rather live away from this little community. A community I DO love and DO cherish for what it has brought me. For now, the happy medium is to keep some of it close to the vest (love, M, living) and some of it still out there, but just less frequently. I will say, I am still so grateful to have found your blog and have ‘connected’ in a way with you. We really are alike in many ways. XO
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I am very guarded with what I post on social media sites. My blog is mainly about music that I like. I do put a story in there every once in a while about my life at certain points but it is not linear in anyway.
I would say that I allow 10% of my life on the internet.
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It’s funny, in real life I am a very open with anyone I trust. I hold back online about certain things and can only write about them after some time has passed. Especially as more people I know in real life (co-workers especially) read my blog, I feel I need to withhold more personal things. Kind of strange… Good luck on your new job! What will you be doing?
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