Do you ever feel like you’re being pulled in too many directions?
Last night, I sat in the bathroom clipping my hot pink toenails while supervising bath time. Linus—just a week shy of his first birthday—patted the glistening bubbles while chewing lovingly on a spongy orange letter “P.” Three-year-old Linnea was busy mothering Mermaid Dora the Explorer.
“I’m sorry,” she said in her dainty, sugar-sweet voice as she stroked Mermaid Dora’s hair. “I’m sorry I can’t play the game right now. I have to go to work now. I’m sorry, honey.”
Should I be pleased that she portrayed Mom (me?) in a loving manner, or should I be distraught that Mommy=”not enough time for me?” Or both?
I’ve always fantasized about staying home while my kids are young, and recent changes in our child care situation have made me question whether working full time is really the answer, but it’s a complex decision. Money, long-term career goals, personal satisfaction, and intuition are all important factors.
I’m being pulled in so many directions these days. I want to publish my memoir, but being a successful author (whether indie or traditionally published) requires herculean marketing efforts. I want to care for and spend time with my kids, and I also want to have an outlet for my creativity and drive. Oh, and it would be nice to have some time left over for running, cooking, cleaning, going on dates with my husband, and spending time with family and friends. I also like books, sleep, and occasionally having enough energy to get it on.
That’s (apparently) a lot to ask.
*****
I Want to Know
- Do you feel pulled in multiple directions?
- How do you manage the strain?
Find me on twitter @emmasota, look up emmasota on Facebook, and visit me at my other blog, Divorced Before 30.
One thing that has helped me to make life decisions is to perform a kind of triage in regards to all the irons I like to have in the fire. I have realized I can’t do it all anymore, and when I try to, I get really stressed and don’t get as much enjoyment out of what I am doing (how can a person when they are always in a “rush”?). So I try and determine what irons to tend and which ones to leave alone.
Getting laid off from my job helped give me the push I needed to “decide” to stay home with the kids. I figure that eventually, I will have time to go back to working a paying job outside the home – to pursue some of those larger “career” oriented goals, perhaps even in a different field than what I got my master’s degree for. Right now, what I needed to do was to be home with my kids. But you have to do what is right for you and also still make sure there is a roof over your head, right? Also, there’s always the data that shows how much less money women make over their lifetime if they choose to stay home when their kids are young. It’s quite appalling. It is definitely not an easy decision and I wish you luck and hope you find inner peace with whatever you decide.
Christina Jenson recently posted..The Outside Life
Aww. It’s HARD doing so much and wanting to do so much but also wanting some semblance of balance, isn’t it? Hard to step back and really prioritize enough so you can have that balance and also achieve what you want. You will find the balance, I promise. Because I am convinced our brains work so similarly, you will find the right list of to do’s that makes you happy but gives you breathing room too! have a great weekend!
jobo recently posted..5 for Friday!
I feel the same way, Emma! I have a 2 yr old, I’m pregnant with a second, I work, and I’d really like to have more time for running and cooking nicer dinners. A lot of my friends are deciding to stay home, but I love my job, and I feel like if I left it for a few years it would be hard to get a job back in my field. Right now my running/working out is what is suffering. The only time I can do it is 5:45am. The way I deal with it is just try and put this current phase of time into perspective over my lifetime. There will be a time in a couple years when hopefully I’ll be able to have more time for everything.
All I can say is, “I hear ya.” I wish I could focus on my kids, being a wife, reading, cleaning my house, anything! For one thing, I don’t think it is in my nature but I am in the same boat, spread way too thin right now.
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