Okay, I admit it—I’m a total dork. I make my husband go on purposeful dates to do things like relationship homework and family goal setting. Yesterday, we were released from parental duties for a couple hours by Grampa Pete to do just that. It was mid-afternoon—a sunny Sunday and the first day of April—and we drove out of our way to a South Minneapolis bar the likes of which we frequented in the pre-familial era.
Josh and I camped at a table near the window and eyed the beer list. “Could it really be?” I thought. “Do we really have the next 90 minutes to do nothing but have a drink and oh, plan the rest of our lives?” I’d been desperate for such a date for weeks. Lately, I’ve been feeling really unsure of where to channel my energy. My goal for the winter was to lay off the goal setting—to let things percolate for a season—but honestly, I can only do that for so long before anxiety sets in. And while Josh and I each have ambitious long-term goals (start a brewery and write books, for example), we really haven’t set many as a couple.
It didn’t take much discussion before we realized the plain truth: most if not all of our goals depend on first digging our way out of debt. I won’t go into details, but imagine an absurd amount of debt for one young family to have (credit cards, student loans, car loan, you name it). Now double that amount, and you’re probably in the ballpark. It doesn’t matter how we got here; what matters is that we get out. So often, it feels fruitless, and I let myself pretend like the little choices—the minor expenditures—don’t matter. Well, they do.
Halfway through a tall wheat beer, I was inspired. “Honey,” I declared, “I’m going to make saving money a sport!” And I was serious. I had hoped to walk away from the bar with some exciting goals. Pinching pennies was not exactly what I had in mind.
I don’t have a grand moving-saving scheme mapped out yet, but to start, I’m trying to challenge my assumptions about what I really need. As a symbol of my wastefulness and my intention to change, I am offering up the holy paper towel to the gods of frugality. It—great sopper of spills that it is—will be difficult to give up, but last night, I organized my rags, sponges, towels, and cloth napkins, and hell if the house has gone to the dogs yet. I think I can do this. I, who very recently used dozens of paper towels just to clean one bathroom, can suddenly decide to stop. And if I can do that, what else can I do?
Giving up paper towels clearly isn’t going to solve our financial woes. But what if I no longer need to run to Target or Costco to get more Bounty megapacks? What if I skip those trips altogether—the ones that inevitably end with me and a shopping cart full of crayons, hair accessories, and just a few more bins to organize the endless array of crap we already have in our house? What if?
I am currently the grateful owner of one half of a roll of paper towels, which I will hoard for a disgusting emergency of the headless rabbit variety. Otherwise, I’m going cold turkey. If saving money is a sport, consider me in training.
*****
I Want to Know
- Are you a paper towel addict like me? Any interest in joining my challenge?
- What are your favorite ways to save a little money here and there?
Find me on twitter @emmasota, look up emmasota on Facebook, and visit me at my other blog, Divorced Before 30.
We don’t use paper towels – except for the odd roll that we buy to clean the toilet and bathroom mirror. But you will pry the boxes of Kleenex brand tissues from my cold dead hands. I refuse to blow my nose on a hankie or toilet paper. Same goes for the “moist flushable wipes”. The rest of my family can use regular old toilet paper – but if I have a true splurge item (akin to your paper towels) it is the $14 or so I spend every other month on the wipes.
Ha! Too funny about the Kleenex.
I didn’t grow up in a paper towel using household (and my mom did use cloth diapers), so I don’t use them too frequently. But, I should admit I have a cleaning lady who comes once a month, and I’m pretty sure she uses plenty.
My New Year’s Resolution was not to shop for clothes or shoes for 2 months, which I stuck to (almost completely), so that was definitely a money saving trick. But, I’m single with no kids, so there aren’t too many other reoccurring expenses. And, since the first two months of the year are over I’ve almost made up for it. So all in all I just need to get better at budgeting.
I think that having a cleaning service once a month would be perfect. Someday, I hope to do the same! I was talking to my mom about it yesterday, and we didn’t really have paper towels around when I was growing up, either.
Clothing is another tough one for me. In general, I think I have pretty good self-control compared to a lot of women. However, I’ll be really good for months and then suddenly feel entirely deprived, like I have nothing to wear. Hmmm. This topic will probably be a future post!
This has been an ongoing quest for me, for longer than I like to think about. I’m also a sucker for a book on any subject, and my favorite on this one is “Your Money or Your Life”. Full disclosure – it’s a little too, err, gung-ho, for me, but I still recommend it. For nearly a year and a half, we’ve been recording every expenditure – I find it fascinating to see the hard facts every month.
Congrats on drawing the line on paper towels.
Oooh, thanks for the book recommendation! It probably won’t surprise you to learn that I’m also a sucker for books like that. I just requested the ebook from my library, but I’m 12th in line.
Josh has a tracking system, but we’ve fallen off a bit in terms of analyzing it. Time to face the facts again!
Wait! Did you stop cleaning the bathroom? I’m not coming over there again…
Lo and behold, it is possible to clean the bathroom without paper towels. In fact, before I decided to do this, I googled “clean the bathroom without paper towels,” and I found a bunch of good articles. I cut up an old bath towel and created a stack of rags that will be used exclusively for bathroom cleaning. This will be my biggest challenge for sure!
A great way to clean mirrors and windows (for some odd reason) is using old newspaper.
I don’t get the newspaper, but maybe I should, because I kind of miss out on the coupons!
I love this idea! you’d love my friend Erika’s blog – she seriously is a budgeting QUEEN. Check her out: http://www.newlywedsonabudget.com/. I am a paper towel addict too! I have a budget spreadsheet now that does make a world of difference! I was in a hole after my divorce and my sister made me this spreadsheet that helps me build out the next month or two worth of bills and expenses so I can see where my ‘tight’ times of the month are and plan accordingly. A lifesaver!
Thanks for the blog recommendation! I just glanced at it, and it looks very impressive!
I was in a huge hole after my divorce, too. It was a lot easier to crawl out when I was living with my parents.
We’re going to add some new tracking tools to our strategy. I think I will be blogging about this some more!
I enjoy the blog Miser Mom (http://miser-mom.blogspot.com/) about saving money but also being environmentally friendly at the same time. She has a bunch of links to other money saving blogs.
Thanks for telling me about Miser Mom! I checked out a couple of her posts about clothes and was seriously impressed!
Collect stuff you haven’t touched for at least a year and put them up for sale. That should be a quick way to 1) remove clutter, 2) make a little money.
Check out my site for an online goal setting tool that can help you reach some of your goals by doing less.;-)
That’s a good suggestion. I did that on eBay about a year ago, and it was definitely worth the effort!
There is a pretty good website called MoneySavingMom.com. She has lots of helpful hints. For our family, one of the best things we did to save money was to make our shopping list from the sales flyers and to not buy things that weren’t on sale unless I had to. I would make my meal plan according to what was on sale, too. When a good deal came along I would buy a caselot or a family pack. Right now I have cases of canned veggies and fruit stashed away in my bedroom. We also keep track of what we spend at the grocery stores each month. It is a challenge to try to keep it as low as possible.
This is a great suggestion, Patty! I am already a meal-planner, but I should really look at the sales flyers before I decide what to make. Thanks!
I like paper towels a lot but I have been trying to pretend that we don’t have any (it’s easy to do since I am the one who replaces them when they are out…I’m simply not replacing them) for environmental reasons. They are a wonderful invention though, aren’t they?
We had a debt problem when we were first married and it stressed me out to no end. Don’t get me wrong, we still have debt, but its a bit more under control. Now, we are trying to save money since we spent our nest egg paying off debt so we are doing some serious belt tightening. Our strategy is to each have a personal “no questions asked” account that gets paid each pay day and we can spend how we like. ANYTHING and I mean anything else we have to agree upon before we buy. I mean groceries and bills and such are a no-brainer but everything else has to come out of our personal accounts or we must agree on it. This has made me stop spending too much money because usually Andy thinks the things I want to buy are unnecessary so he puts the kibosh on it so I either buy it myself (but our personal accounts don’t have all that much money in them) or go without.
The hard part is that it costs money to be a family with two working parents. Daycare, house cleaner, things I consider necessities with two people working full time are expensive.
This is a great blog post topic. I may use it in the near future.
I hope you do blog on it! I’m sure I could learn something.
That’s great that you and your husband have such a good accountability system worked out. We still have some separate accounts, too, but we don’t have a set amount that we each get to spend. We’re honing our systems right now.
Paper towels ARE a great invention.
I found that if I pay cash for everything and use the envelope system, that reduce the amount of stuff I bought that was not on my list
I am just worthless with cash! I wish I could make a system like this work for me, but cash doesn’t last long in my purse.
I, too, have been trying to avoid buying anything that’s not on the shopping list. It’s hard!!
Hi Emma -
I highly recommend Dave Ramsey’s books/classes/website, radio show, etc. – Financial Peace University, Total Money Makeover, etc.
Even though I’m in the financial services business, I learned a lot from his class and books and love how he breaks everything out in 7 baby steps (seems appropriate for where you are in life – raising babies!) His materials have a Christian bent; but even if that doesn’t appeal to you, his materials have a lot of validity and common sense. I wish I had read his stuff when I was your age!
His classes are offered by churches and other organizations periodically from trained teachers (you can go on daveramsey.com and see where classes are offered in the Mpls area), and you meet with others like you every week for a couple months to watch Dave’s videos and go over materials/workbooks. I found it really helpful to hear others’ stories and know that you’re not alone – and probably not even as bad off as others!
There’s definitely hope, so hang in there!
Teri
P.S. I so enjoy your blog – you definitely have a gift for writing!
Thanks for the encouragement, Teri! I will look into the Dave Ramsey resources. It definitely helps to know that we’re not the only ones struggling with this. I’m glad that you commented.
I love this topic! I am a closet personal finance junkie and I love reading about how people (especially families) decide to re-prioritize their financial lives. I scrolled through the comments and can echo the recommendations for Your Money or Your Life (and also Bethany’s suggestion that it’s pretty gung-ho) and Dave Ramsey (he’s got great starter materials online). I also really liked Smart Couples Finish Rich.
Overall, though, it sounds like you have the perfect start: you and Josh are on the same page. Honestly, I think that’s a step that lots of people skip. One partner jumps on the budgeting bandwagon and the other one is still overspending. Good for you guys for taking the first step on this journey! Can’t wait to read more.
Thanks for chiming in on the resources! I’ll add “Smart Couples” to my growing list.
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