It’s been a typical week in the Wilhelm household. You know—a little vomit, a headless rabbit, and a trip to the ER. Laughter hasn’t been optional, because if I didn’t laugh, I’d probably cry, and what’s the fun in that?
I believe I’ve covered the fact that my seven-month-0ld baby, Linus, doesn’t sleep well. For months, I suspected food sensitivities, so I manipulated the hell out of my diet to produce the blandest milk possible—cutting out all eight of the major allergens—but to no avail. So this week, on my mom’s birthday, I threw in the towel and ate pasta, bread, cake, and ice cream. It was fantastic. And the baby still isn’t sleeping. Ta-da!
Then I got the big idea to try another sleep book. The plan seemed straightforward enough. I was supposed to employ “graduated extinction,” where you let the baby cry for five minutes, check on him, then let him cry for ten, check, and on to fifteen minutes. You get the drift. So I decided to try this last Saturday night. Josh was out of town on one of those men-in-the-woods cabin trips, but my dad was staying over to help with the kids, so while he entertained Linnea (going on 3), I attempted to tame the baby.
Now, the best thing about this new sleep book is that it actually told me to hide in the kitchen and eat ice cream while the baby cried. So I heeded this advice solemnly, standing at the counter feeding myself peppermint ice cream while reading how good this would be for the baby in the long run, how important it was to help him learn. The baby wailed and wailed, and I crept into the room at the appointed intervals to let him know that I hadn’t really abandoned him—I just wasn’t going to pick him up. I only went half-way into the room so he couldn’t see me (again, following instructions).
After 45 minutes of crying, my soft-hearted dad had had enough. “Go pick up the boy!” he said. And I was ready, too. Well, imagine my surprise when I went to scoop up my hefty bundle of a boy only to find that he was covered—and I mean covered—in his own vomit. Now, I’m not sure whether the crying made him vomit or the other way around, but let me tell you, I felt like Mother of the Year. This discovery was followed by more projectile vomiting and a lot of laundry. The new sleep program is on hold until I can get to the store for more ice cream.
Later in the week, we had a filthy, filthy pet emergency. Around 11 p.m., I finally got the baby back to sleep and nestled into his bed, and the rest of the family was already asleep. However, I couldn’t get our two dogs to come inside from the bitter cold, so I knew they were up to something. They were. Juna, our husky-collie mix, finally came in, ran downstairs, and left some friendly deposits for me. When I opened the back door again, Jack, our scrappy little guy, was proudly sitting behind a freshly beheaded rabbit.
Seconds later, I stood in the doorway of our bedroom and ordered Josh to wake up. By this time, the baby was crying again.
“Would you rather rock the crying baby, or clean up dog shit, dog puke, and a headless rabbit?” I asked. “Your choice.” Nice way to wake up, right?
My dear husband couldn’t articulate a response—he needs a little time to warm up from a deep sleep—so I handed the baby to him and went to find some garbage bags and cleaning supplies. Who knew that pink, gelatinous rabbit guts would freeze to concrete—like a tongue to a flagpole—in the dead of winter? Not I. Nor did I care to learn this lesson.
We wrapped up the week with a crash involving a toy grocery cart that was caused by decidedly reckless driving on the part of Linnea. She was dressed in a fancy red dress, all revved up about going to a party, and before we knew it, we were sitting in the ER getting a cut near her eye cleaned up. Kudos to the ER staff, as we were on our way to the party within 45 minutes of our arrival, well bandaged and accompanied by a balloon that read “Star Patient.” Indeed.
With a week like that, folks, I am reminded that life never ceases to be amusing. In the midst of chaos, I continue to reach for that favorite mug and fill it with a piping hot beverage—so far, no alcohol involved. I am committed to my winter intention of letting my thoughts, dreams, and goals percolate, though I do have one new goal for the season: no more headless rabbits.
*****
I Want to Know
- What kind of shenanigans were you and your family up to this week?
- Do you have any pets who like to leave “gifts” for you?
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Poor Buddy the cat has a nervous stomach – if he eats too fast, if he’s slightly worked up… If I’m gone for too long or Gav is over for a week straight, he’s a little puking machine. Oh so pleasant. I only feel like speaking ill of MY animal, so I’m not going to badmouth the other two – both of who do that kind of stuff too, but with less regularity.
Aw, the life of a pet parent. So many disgusting little clean-up jobs…so little time.
Well, I was involved in sitting down at a computer that had an unfinished blog post just sitting there…mischief demanded! Nermal, the Northfield Sandberg feline matriarch has always delivered fresh treats. Quite a few times she’s been interrupted while trotting across the back yard with a live and otherwise healthy baby bunny dangling by the scruff of its neck! They always seem sort of sanguine, or maybe resigned. Nermal is good about giving them up and resigns herself to being stuck in the house until bunny gets back to the nest. Other times she leaves little voles or various kinds of mice for us at the front door. They are no longer as relaxed as bunny! I know cats shouldn’t be allowed out because of this sort of thing, and mainly birds, but no one can say Nermal is domesticated; she is great at this even without her front claws.
Ew. So I take back the comment I just sent to jobo about possibly becoming a cat person. They are just as gross!
Ugh. Saw this on a friend’s Facebook post: “Kids’ vomit is like Dracula- it only appears at night.” true in our house last night. Feel you on the sleep thing. We finally got over the hump when I shut our firstborn in his room and my DW in our room. They both cried, but I stayed strong and pretty much since then he’s been a great sleeper.
Ha! Love the Dracula quote. Hilarious and true!
I’m glad that the sleep thing worked out for you. Your poor DW. This stuff is tough!
oh MAN…..I am not sure what is worse, the baby crying, vomit or the rabbit! pretty sure the rabbit takes the cake though….wow, yuck yuck yuck!!! I am glad your daughter is okay after the fall, though too. And you have a good sense of humor after all is said and done
Yeah, where would we be without our senses of humor, right?
Unfortunately, I am familiar with the rabbit routine, though this time was more gruesome than usual. Maybe I’ll become a cat person!
Sorry to hear about the sleep issues. Sounds like Linus may be in the infamous “10 percenter” group that Evelyn is also in. It’s a group of little ones that just don’t sleep well (or maybe even not sleep very much at all). For this group, it appears there are no techniques to solve the sleep issues. I’ve heard of other parents having to hire night nannies just to catch some zzz’s.
Evelyn finally started sleeping better sometime after age 2. When people ask me to remember events in the past two and a half years, I often have trouble recalling them due to sleep deprivation. She now also appears to be wanting to give up her afternoon nap. Yay ;( But that means we might be able to get her to bed around 9:00pm instead of 10-12, so then we would actually get some time off at night.
Hang in there – it will eventually get better. I’m sending good thoughts your way. Parents who have children that have always slept well will never know what it feels like to go on such little sleep.
In solidarity,
Tina
Oh, I love you, Tina. It’s so good to hear from someone who gets it. Sorry to hear that you went through this with Evelyn, however! Linnea was never a great sleeper as an, but it was nothing like this! Now, she’s really quite outstanding when it comes to sleep. She goes to bed a little on the late slide, but she also sleeps in.
I know what you mean about trying to remember the events of the past few years. I am definitely not as sharp as I used to be!
Thanks for the words of encouragement!
Thankfully my week did not include headless rabbits, and frankly sounds downright boring next to the week you had! Big hugs to you Emma – and I appreciate your ability to find humor/laughter in the insanity. We did the “graduated extinction” thing with both our kids around 8-9 months and it was incredibly hard – I felt like a horrible mama for hours after the child was sound asleep, but it did work. The first 2-3 days were the worst (at least 45-60 minutes of crying, checking, me crying outside their door, etc.) but after that everything was relatively smooth sailing (and I had one real problem sleeper of the two). Of course, I never had to deal with vomitting on top of that. If you decided to go that route again, stock up on ice cream and make sure you have a wing man (preferrably one that will not let you cave in).
I would like to add to Eri’s comment. All three of the cats let me know when to clean the cat boxes when I don’t do it in time for them. They leave me tootsie roles in the entry or in the closet near the boxes instead of in the boxes.
When Gavin was under three when he would get sick he would not give me a warning that he was sick. He would just throw up on the spot. It certainly made it interesting when he would eat anything and every thing and still didn’t know he was sick.
Oh dear. Yep, those cats are sneaky. I couldn’t handle the litter box issues when I lived w/ Laurel’s cat, Hunter. I can’t stand the smell! So I guess I don’t blame the cats for rebelling when the box gets too stinky!
I think it must be pretty common for young children to do what Gavin did. Linnea is the same. She never tells me that she’s going to be sick. Maybe she doesn’t even realize it’s about to happen. It’s probably better that way for her sake, though it would obviously help us parents to have some warning!
We’ve had the same sleep problems with our #2. We endured the sleep training technique you tried only to have the same vomit situation! Luke vomited out of “Drama Kingness,” not illness, though. Sleep is marginally better at our house, but like you, every day and week is an adventure with young children and sleep is lacking!
Okay, so how did I not know that you have a blog?! Yay!
So this afternoon, I read a little more in the new sleep book and discovered that the vomiting is a THING. Apparently, you’re just supposed to clean the kid up and proceed as planned. God help me!! Yes, every day and every week is definitely an adventure. I love that, even when it’s challenging.
Oh Emma. I feel like we’re leading parallel lives at this point. But I have to give it to you, you win with this one. Max had been feeling really beaten up in the last two weeks. I had him read your post, and he said, “Okay, that’s worse.”
I’ll begin by saying that Lulu was, and still is, a great sleeper. Dash was a great sleeper, even better than his sister as a newborn. We got through the 4 month mark, when sleep habits tend to worsen, without a hitch. I got cocky. I gave away all my books, was giving advice to friends with newborns… Then Thanksgiving came and went, and Dash’s sleep went into rapid decline. There was one night right around the New Year when he woke up every 45 minutes all night long. I was convinced that there was something medically wrong with him. When I brought him to the pediatrician for his 6 month checkup, I was told, “he’s totally playing you. It’s time for sleep training.”
The Sleep Easy method? Yeah, us too. I read and heard about people whose babies were completely “trained” after three days. It took us two weeks! There were hours upon hours of crying from a kid who, until that point, had rarely ever cried. It was horrible! The ice cream only distracted me for a few minutes. But night three, I was locking myself in the bathroom to curl my hair at 10pm. My eyes were sunken and bloodshot from the lack of sleep the next morning, but my hair looked fabulous.
My dog got so stressed out from all the crying that he licked his leg raw and gave himself a hot spot. I should mention that said dog cries like a human child when one of my babies cries. When he did this with Lulu, I thought it was the kid across the hall for the longest time. He would combine his crying with sitting in front of me and staring at me accusingly. Like, “well, aren’t you gonna do something about that?” Now that made me feel like Mom of the Year. The hot spot meant that we had to take our dog to the vet. He’s absolutely horrendous at the vet. When Max called to make the appointment, he actually said the words, “How would you handle a tiger? Do that.” It took the vet, two vet techs with shoulder length bite gloves, and Max to subdue him. There was screaming and slavering that would have cleared the office if any other patients had been waiting.
I’m happy to report that things are finally falling into place after more than two weeks of mayhem. Dash slept from 7:30 to 7:30 last nigh with nary a peep. He and Lulu are now sharing a room. And Hanzo’s hot spot is healing. Sadly though, my hair is looking less fabulous. It’ll happen, Emma, but it takes a hell of a lot of perseverance. And there will be regressions, just when you think things are improving. Hang in there.
Oh Kathy. I love this comment. I was laughing out loud, especially picturing Max saying, “How would you handle a tiger.” Ha! I’m not sure that my situation is any worse than yours. It’s definitely comforting to know that I’m not the only one. The waking up every 45 minutes thing? Yes. That happens around here once every ten days or so. Brutal. A “normal” night involves waking every 2 hours or so. Like you, I’ve wondered whether the baby is sick, so he has been to Urgent Care numerous times to have his ears checked.
I definitely haven’t been doing much of anything with my hair. Frankly, I feel lucky to make it to work in the morning. However, I love that you curled your hair during sleep training, and I plan to steal that idea.
It gives me hope to hear that Dash is a sleeping champ now. Perseverance is usually my middle name, but this seems like a particularly daunting task right now. Thanks for the moral support!
I don’t believe in many rules when it comes to parenting, but I do believe in certain truisms, like “when it rains, it pours.” (Another way of saying that might be, “when you have vomit, you will also have a headless rabbit.”)
I’m sorry the last week was such a doozy and I hope the days ahead will get easier – and more restful! – for all of you. xo
Oh my goodness you poor thing. I promise next week will be better. My parents have a similar story with my sister where they let her “cry it out” all night only to find she had a 102 fever when they finally went in to check on her in the morning.
This parenting gig is not for the faint of heart!
I guess I should also mention, in case you haven’t tried it already, I am a fan of “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” but we may just have been lucky with two relatively good sleepers.
I used that book with our first. It’s great! My brother and sister-in-law used it for their three boys, too, and they had great luck. This time, I tried “The Sleep Easy Solution,” which I am really liking so far.