My lengthy holiday vacation did not go according to plan. There really wasn’t much of a plan in the first place—simply to enjoy time with my family, to watch lots of movies, and intentionally NOT to set any lofty goals for myself (which of course I’m prone to overdoing). Still, it’s safe to say that it wasn’t what I hoped it would be.
I won’t go into details, but my hard-earned PTO was spent at Urgent Care, the emergency veterinary hospital, and in the laundry room. My almost-three-year-old got her first set of x-rays (no fracture, thankfully), we dealt with a “both-ends” stomach bug, the baby MUST be teething (but so far, no teeth to validate that hypothesis), and both kids have ear infections. Sure, I did a lot of lounging in my pajamas, but the vibe around here was less than stellar, and I admittedly let myself spiral into a funk.
One of the hardest things about being a mom is that it sometimes feels like there’s no one to take care of YOU. “What about me?” you find yourself asking. “I feel like hell, too, but the show must go on.” You may even find yourself saying this, internally or loud and clear, with dramatic flair. It’s not that my husband doesn’t care about me, but let’s face it—he’s a GUY. A guy who has a tendency to be a little out of touch emotionally (by female standards, anyway) and who is currently obsessed with all things beer- and brewing-related.
Maybe part of the problem was that I was feeling emotionally NEEDY at precisely the time that my husband was feeling needy in his own right—in need of time to recharge the batteries, to dig into a project with gusto. What happened was inevitable. What happened was that we squabbled about really stupid shit like DOG POOP MANAGEMENT. So part of my vacation was spent stewing about that and how he JUST DOESN’T GET “IT”/ME. Happy Holidays, right?
Thankfully, we are on the same team once again and I am feeling much better. I highly recommend some high-end hot chocolate and a little “afternoon delight” (not necessarily in combination, but that might be okay, too) to help work out the next ridiculous spat you have with your partner.
Nonetheless, I am still feeling the weight of never-ending streams of snot and a cumulative sleep shortage, and I think that the children can sense when I am feeling vulnerable. As I was trying to put Linnea to bed last night, she took great delight in the exercise of purposefully testing my patience.
“Do you want Mommy get angry?” I asked in my best stern voice. She thought about that quietly for a minute, then nodded.
“Be a monster, Mommy!” she exclaimed.
“No problem,” I thought. “No problem.”
As I enter 2012, I am thankful for this perfectly imperfect life. These are the good old days, right? I am working on a list of things I’d like to do this year, carefully selecting only activities and experiences that are actually within my control, i.e., YES to “go ice-skating,” NO to “win the lottery.” The children will get well, my dear husband and I will forge ahead together, and I will accomplish small things that make me happy.
*****
I Want to Know
What do you hope to accomplish in 2012?
Were you sick over the holidays, too? Was it miserable?
What kind of stupid stuff do you fight about with your significant other?
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Go ahead, Em, win the lottery.
(I forgot to say that first you have to buy a ticket.)
Very true. I do buy one from time to time. I usually go for the Minnesota games rather than the Powerball.
Dearest Emma,
Thank you for sharing your particularly trying holiday. It’s always been my experience that what we most look forward to and anticipate never unfolds as we expect… and that can be disappointing and irritating. Yet it’s life and the one thing (the only thing) I know about life is that it will continue to sling stuff– slimy, yucky, gross stuff– my way. Especially when I am most vulnerable and in need of a break!
You are a wonderful, caring mama, partner, and friend. I know I’ve been stuck in my own brand of nuts and “too much” the past couple months but I am here to lean on! And while I can’t help you out with the “afternoon delight,” I am ALWAYS down for a hot cocoa. The Dunn Bros. near my new abode has perfect hot chocolate. Come check out the digs and I will treat you to a large one with whipped cream!
Here’s to 2012. I hope the kids feel better and that you get some time for yourself. And one other thing– I can totally relate to the seemingly silly spats with a significant other. The things Jim and I get pissy with one another about… well let’s just say it happens when one or both of us are one or some combinations of the following: a) physically exhausted; b) emotionally worn out; c) feeling the special pressures the holidays present (i.e. family, time, money).
I love you!
Andrea
Aw, thanks, Andrea! I’m sorry that your holidays were somewhat bumpy as well. Here’s hoping that 2012 will bring much goodness for both of us. And I would love to see your new place and get cocoa sometime soon!
I have ‘resolutions’ for 2012. They are the same resolutions I have made the last 3 years.
1: Buy a house. (we couldn’t get a loan the last 3 years, now we can!)
2: Get pregnant. (we weren’t really in a position to afford Gav, much less a baby)
3: Have a good and/or fulfilling job that I don’t mind going to. (got hired end of Jan ’11)
So… This year!
And if they don’t happen this year, next year must be my year. In all actuality I have other resolutions, but these are seemingly tangible – the others are more amorphous.
It sounds like you’re at least getting close on one of the three! These are pretty big goals. It’s good to know what you want!
I would like to continue my workouts in 2012. In fact, I’m meeting my boss at 5:25 tomorrow morning at LifeTime. And, on Saturday, I got my ass kicked at boot camp. I mean, you should try this place. I mean try it if you want to feel like you’re going to die, but, heck, it’s good for you!
I was not sick over the holidays but I was in mourning. I also (now) have a sick husband and I’ve also had two sick kids. Not a good combo. I thought that I was getting sick but went to the gym two mornings in a row and felt much better.
Silly things we fight about? Dishes and laundry, probably….
It sounds like you’re on an awesome fitness kick. Boot camp sounds dreamy. I miss my coaching days sometimes because I stayed in such good shape. I loved doing all of the core work.
I asked Josh if I minded that I write about us fighting and he pointed out that it probably wasn’t a big secret that we fight sometimes. All couples do, right?
Hope your honey gets well soon. And I’m sure the mourning will take time, but it sounds like you’re doing good things to take care of yourself.
Ugh, I am so sorry you dealt with so much on your time off! sounds so much like my sister Jen dealt with this past week, the stomach bug through her house, starting with my niece, then her, now her husband, one of her dogs at the e-vet, and trying to pack up their house to move! Nuts. I know she is sort of feeling the same way, what about ME, and I wish I could fix that for her…so I emphathize, in that way. I am glad you are lifting yourself up and out, as always, and tomorrow is a new day, right??
Oh my goodness. Moving is the worst thing ever, and I can not imagine doing that on top of the kind of week I had. Your poor sister! Yep, tomorrow is a new day, and I think it will be good to get back into a routine!
Oh my goodness. Moving is the worst thing ever, and I can not imagine doing that on top of the kind of week I had. Your poor sister! Yep, tomorrow is a new day, and I think it will be good to get back into a routine!
Wait, Afternoon Delight means Coitus, right?
Very astute, Sponge Bob.
Funny, did you ask your dork about posting about that, or just fighting?
No, I did not ask permission to talk about sex. Just fighting. As my wise husband pointed out, it’s not exactly a big secret that we fight once in a while. All married people do. I guess I assumed that sex wasn’t exactly a big secret either.
Wait, I thought we were talking about coitus? What is sex?
Oh Emma, I totally feel for you. We had a challenging vacation as well except for different reasons. The baby had a cold which was fine, but as I told you on Twitter, I have had a clogged duct since DECEMBER 21st. I have spent about 4 hours a day since then trying to remove it. Totally how I wanted to spend the time. Andy also had a vasectomy so that there was that too…
Am hoping this is the worse part of 2012.
It was definitely some much needed time with the kiddos though.
Oh, wow. I hope the duct is finally better. That sucks so bad. And your poor husband, too. Yes, the year is bound to get better!
We were sick over vacation too! I had the flu and no daycare; I know what you mean with your statement “what about me?” I laid in bed delirious while Mari played by herself and periodically brought me some of her fake play food saying “mama sick”. Sam had work meetings most of the day, so couldn’t come home to take care of us. Then he got the flu the next day and i had to take care of all 3 of us. I’m happy we made it through and we can now start our new year!
Oh no! That sounds terrible. Luckily, I didn’t get the stomach thing at full force.
Hope the new year is good to the three of you!