My lengthy holiday vacation did not go according to plan. There really wasn’t much of a plan in the first place—simply to enjoy time with my family, to watch lots of movies, and intentionally NOT to set any lofty goals for myself (which of course I’m prone to overdoing). Still, it’s safe to say that it wasn’t what I hoped it would be.
I won’t go into details, but my hard-earned PTO was spent at Urgent Care, the emergency veterinary hospital, and in the laundry room. My almost-three-year-old got her first set of x-rays (no fracture, thankfully), we dealt with a “both-ends” stomach bug, the baby MUST be teething (but so far, no teeth to validate that hypothesis), and both kids have ear infections. Sure, I did a lot of lounging in my pajamas, but the vibe around here was less than stellar, and I admittedly let myself spiral into a funk.
One of the hardest things about being a mom is that it sometimes feels like there’s no one to take care of YOU. “What about me?” you find yourself asking. “I feel like hell, too, but the show must go on.” You may even find yourself saying this, internally or loud and clear, with dramatic flair. It’s not that my husband doesn’t care about me, but let’s face it—he’s a GUY. A guy who has a tendency to be a little out of touch emotionally (by female standards, anyway) and who is currently obsessed with all things beer- and brewing-related.
Maybe part of the problem was that I was feeling emotionally NEEDY at precisely the time that my husband was feeling needy in his own right—in need of time to recharge the batteries, to dig into a project with gusto. What happened was inevitable. What happened was that we squabbled about really stupid shit like DOG POOP MANAGEMENT. So part of my vacation was spent stewing about that and how he JUST DOESN’T GET “IT”/ME. Happy Holidays, right?
Thankfully, we are on the same team once again and I am feeling much better. I highly recommend some high-end hot chocolate and a little “afternoon delight” (not necessarily in combination, but that might be okay, too) to help work out the next ridiculous spat you have with your partner.
Nonetheless, I am still feeling the weight of never-ending streams of snot and a cumulative sleep shortage, and I think that the children can sense when I am feeling vulnerable. As I was trying to put Linnea to bed last night, she took great delight in the exercise of purposefully testing my patience.
“Do you want Mommy get angry?” I asked in my best stern voice. She thought about that quietly for a minute, then nodded.
“Be a monster, Mommy!” she exclaimed.
“No problem,” I thought. “No problem.”
As I enter 2012, I am thankful for this perfectly imperfect life. These are the good old days, right? I am working on a list of things I’d like to do this year, carefully selecting only activities and experiences that are actually within my control, i.e., YES to “go ice-skating,” NO to “win the lottery.” The children will get well, my dear husband and I will forge ahead together, and I will accomplish small things that make me happy.
I Want to Know
What do you hope to accomplish in 2012?
Were you sick over the holidays, too? Was it miserable?
What kind of stupid stuff do you fight about with your significant other?