Since the movie Home Alone came out in 1990 (Um, 21 years ago? Really?), I’m sure I’ve seen it at least once each holiday season. My brothers and I no doubt enjoyed repeat showings of the Macaulay Culkin classic, but our viewing experience was heightened by the presence of our father, who had a very sympathetic response to the many injuries sustained by the bad guys. Whenever a burglar was struck in the head by a paint can or fell down a flight of stairs, Dad would holler, “Oh!” or “No!” or “Oh my God!” It didn’t seem to matter how many times he’d seen the movie—his response was the same.
Parenting a two-and-a-half-year-old child feels much the same way. I am so tired of hearing thuds and wails. Thud, wail. Thud, wail. The worst is when I actually witness these crashes and see my dear child’s head meet the wood floor one more time. It seems to me that if I my body were subjected to the same falls, trips, and accidents, I wouldn’t handle it nearly as well as my daughter does. In fact, I already don’t handle it very well. Like my dad watching Harry and Marv in Home Alone, I wince, jump, and sometimes shout obscenities.
On Saturday night, Linnea was in the bathroom washing her hands for the twentieth time while Josh and I chatted with some friends who were over for dinner. When I heard the dreaded thump and wail—and a bonus cry of “Mama”—I knew that she had somehow fallen off her footstool and hit the bathtub. I raced into the bathroom to find blood dribbling down her lip. “Oh shit!” I screamed, as I pried open her mouth. “Her teeth!” Convinced that they had all been knocked out, my mind raced. What to do next?
When she calmed down and I was able to wipe her mouth with a cool wet washcloth, all of her tiny teeth were accounted for. She needed nothing more than some cuddles and her pacifier and she was ready to play again. I, on the other hand, was totally freaked out. “Enough with the getting hurt!” I thought, and yet, I know that there are many more thumps and wails in our future. I just need to find a way to chill out, because the amount of adrenaline involved in the Harry-and-Marv-style sympathetic response is way too much for daily consumption.
*****
I Want to Know
How do you manage the stress of watching kids get hurt?
How do you maintain your sanity in the presence of so much thumping and wailing?
What’s the craziest way that you got hurt as a kid? Or, what’s the craziest way that your kid has gotten hurt?
Can you believe that Home Alone is 21 years old?
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Hey now! Anyone can stand by and watch boobs fall for the ice on the stairs, the iron, the paint can, the red hot door knob, etc. It takes special people to have empathy. Oooooohhhhh nnnnnoooooo! Look out!!!!
There’s no doubt that parents or grandparents are going to wince, even before impact. I got to watch grandson D jumping on couch cushions and smack his cheek into an upholstered couch base a few weeks ago, and he still has a bump. Oooooohhhhh nnnnnoooooo! Look out!!!!
But I also got to see his daddy smash his cheek into to an oak lion’s foot on an antique table and thought he’d destroyed his skull about 28 years earlier. Oooooohhhhh nnnnnoooooo! Look out!!!!
Mostly, it’s the bumps and bruises that come with life. Later they’ll be more personal and hopefully less physical. Yet, they still stink. Looookkkkkk oooouuuuutttt!
I forgot that “Look out!” is one of your favorite things to yell during Home Alone, as if the burglars might heed your advice.
Ugh. I am not looking forward to the more metaphorical bumps and bruises in my kids’ lives either!
OK, tell me you never thought about yelling, Looookkkk ooooouuuuuttttt!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaWYOdHK8aM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuwK8kVfi1Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ix5hErnEcr8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=Yl3zaaPY9YA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFqpEgp3Fc4&feature=related
Oh boy. Here’s an opportunity to waste a good while on the internet.
Look out is about what we can do in reality. Every bump stinks, every bruise does too. Physical and mental. We all lived through this stuff and don’t even know about most of it.
When Eri put a tweezer in the only uncovered socket in the house, I cried more than she did. When my kids had their ears pierced I had to hyperventilate across the store. When Laurel needed stitches in her knee, they asked if I needed a sedative. The first year Laurel drove… oh well, I lived through it.
I was a kid who hit her head on every open cabinet and closet door. I slammed my fingers in fire doors and jumped off stages to bruise my heels. (Look she’s 12 and still tippytoes.)
Parents don’t like to see their kids get hurt. It makes us feel helpless. But as kids get tougher and hopefully smarter, parents do too.
Ugh. The mere thought of the electric socket sends shivers down my spine! I’ve already caught Linnea trying to monkey with one, though.
Love the image of you needing a sedative (It’s funny in retrospect, right?).
When Piper fell out of her car seat (that was sitting on the couch in the living room and hit her head on the wood floor, I so panicked. It was man Christmas and I was a WRECK – bawling my eyes out. Doug and Nancy met me at Urgent Care. She, alas, was fine.
My worst injury? I was run over by a car. It was stuck in my sled that I was so brilliantly sledding into the street. My mom lifted the car off of me. You’ve seen my mom. She’s TINY. I survived.
No, I cannot believe that it’s 21 years old. I still love that movie.
Wow. I think you guys have already had your fair share’s worth of trips to Urgent Care! I seem to remember a broken bone in there, too.
I can’t believe you got hit by a car. That must have been so scary. Good thing your mom is such a tough cookie (though yes, tiny!).
Aw! Poor thing, I am sure your heart sunk at that ‘mama!’ While I don’t have kids, anytime my niece Isabel is over at my house (or I am at my sister’s), I am always so worried she’s going to fall over! She is still new to walking, so I feel like I just follow her around to make sure she’s ok! And wow, Home Alone is 21?! Damn, I feel old