Six years ago today, I got married. Deep down, I knew that something didn’t feel right, but I walked down the aisle anyway, and the rest is history.
Five years ago today, I was camping with my then-husband and his siblings. Our marriage was a complete nightmare, but I didn’t yet see a way out.
Four years ago today, I mourned July 3rd, which was no longer my wedding anniversary, but rather the day on which I had married the wrong man.
Three years ago today, I got the best news of my life. My then-boyfriend (now-husband), Josh, and I were pregnant, and I couldn’t have been happier.
Two years ago today, I was in tiny Circle, Montana—hometown of my in-laws—introducing Linnea to my husband’s extended family.
One year ago today, I was vacationing and family-reunioning (new word) in a beautiful mountain getaway with Josh, Linnea, and Josh’s sisters and their families.
Today, I am hanging out with two amazing kids and eagerly awaiting the return of their daddy, who has been away at a wedding in Alaska for three days.
July 3rd is no longer a sad day for me, but I will probably always use it as a benchmark of sorts—a reminder to look around, to take stock, and to be thankful for how far I’ve come.
Have a happy and safe holiday!
*****
I Want to Know
- What dates have special meaning for you, whether positive or negative?
- If, like me, you’ve been through a divorce (or another painful loss), how long did it take for significant dates to get easier?
Wow, i love this and the change each year progressing to now. such a difference!!! so happy for you!
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Thanks, Jolene! You have a similarly happy progression going! Have a great holiday!
march seventeenth: the day i met adam, who’s ended up being the only guy (outside of my family) that’s really mattered to me.
april twenty-first: the day i screwed things up with adam (it doesn’t take me long, mostly because i’ve bipolar disorder, and i don’t realize i’m descending into paranoid/irrational/crazy until i’m well into it, unfortunately.)
march twelfth: the day my older brother died.
june twenty-fourth — the last day i smoked a cigarette.
october nineteenth: the day i wore my last nicoderm patch.
c.c. recently posted..the thirtieth day
July 6!
Aww…sweet. For anyone else reading this, that is my parents’ wedding anniversary. My dad, a.k.a. Grampa Pete, is a sap!
I have never really been tied to dates as a timestamp of importance. This was reinforced for me when my dad was randomly murdered last February (2/2/10). I miss him at all sorts of random times, but not any more or less on 2/2, his birthday, father’s day, etc. I miss him most on occasions – when my nephew and niece have a birthday and i know they won’t know they great man he was because they were so young when he died. I miss him when my youngest brother graduates HS and moves to a new city and starts college and will never get to know Dad with an adult to adult relationship.
Other deaths or times of sadness/happiness are similar. Heck even my birthday or wedding anniversary are things i note because culturally i feel like i should.
I don’t know how healthy one way or the other is, but it’s interesting to see the difference. Most of my siblings are date oriented and sometimes think i don’t care because i don’t get as upset on the days that they do.
Wow, I am so sorry about your dad. I can’t imagine!
I never thought about it before, but you’re right–some people seem more date-oriented than others. I don’t think that one way is better than the other, though. I guess we all have our own unique ways of experiencing life!
I don’t really look at dates. For me it is the feelings that I had during a time period. For example, 2002 was a bad year for me, I was severely depressed, on the verge of losing my house and my marriage was crumbling before my eyes. Conversely, 2007 was a great year. I met my future wife, I was having fun with friends playing airsoft every weekend and even traveled to Chicago amongst other places to play airsoft. I had made quite a few new friends because of a new church I was attending as well. I was also playing music with said church during that year.
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I hope your wife sees this!
I think about years, too, usually in terms of where I was living at the time. Now that I’ve been in one place for a while, that’s less useful.
Emma, I can totally relate! May 20th would have 5 years of marriage had I not gotten divorced. I too was divorced before 30. I separated from my then husband and immediately started dating again and that was almost 2 1/2 years ago. At first it was a “fling” and rebound thing but then something unexpected happen, I was in love and so was he. Now I don’t think of May 20th as an old anniversary, to me now it’s just another date. It took a little while for that to happen though. Dates become so old and forgotten and sometimes it makes me sad. I can’t remember the date my brother passed away. I just remember it was Easter of 1997. As long as I don’t forget him, the date won’t matter. I think it all really depends on the circumstance.
I’m glad that you’re also at the point where your former anniversary is just another date! Funny how a supposed fling can turn into something unexpectedly wonderful.
Wow, your brother must have died really young. That must have been incredibly hard. Of course you’ll never forget him!
What a great post!!! I am a “date” person and remember the most random, yet significant dates that mark milestones for me:
July 29, 1991: Broke up with my high school boyfriend of over three years. The break-up was a declaration of freedom for me in many ways and I have since always celebrated the 29th with gusto!
September 23, 2002: A day of courage and a leap of faith to leave my headhunting job after three years of great success to find my passion in training and facilitating again. It was well worth the jump!
October 4, 1995: The day I moved to Denver, CO and started my first job after my college internship. Another mark of maturity, freedom and my attempt to learn all about the world and what I can do to impact it.
It is by no accident that you and Josh learned you were expecting Linnea three years to the date of your first marriage. The Lord does work in mysterious ways…
Tammy
Wow, you DO remember dates! And it’s just like you to focus on the positive ones.