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Letter to My Firstborn Child

Dear Linnea,

As we wait for your new brother or sister to arrive, I want to document this important moment in our lives! You won’t be able to read this for a few years, but I want you to know what an impact you’ve had on me. When women first become mothers, it’s not uncommon for them lose their sense of self, at least temporarily. I feel so lucky, because when you were born, I finally found myself.

Leading up to your arrival, my life had been full of ups and downs. I switched jobs every year or two, failed at my first marriage, and struggled with anxiety. Sure, I had seen modest success in my life, but I was always searching for something. The day that I found out I was pregnant with you, something inside of me clicked.

As my belly began to grow, I gained a new appreciation for my body. I’d always been athletic and thin, but like so many women, I still had body image issues. Not all the time—the self-consciousness came in waves, probably when I was struggling with some larger issue. But I loved the physical sensation of being pregnant, and I didn’t even mind sporting a jelly belly in the months after your birth. It was all for a larger purpose, and I finally grasped the notion that I am much more than a body.

When you were about eight months old, I did some serious thinking about what I wanted for my life, and you inspired that. I realized that to be the best mom I can be, I also need to be the best me I can be. It’s my job to show you how to live a good life—not how to live your life, but what it looks like to be full-of-life, to be fulfilled. So I dug deep and asked myself what I really wanted, and the answer scared me to death. Among other things, I wanted to write a book. How could I possibly do that with a husband, a baby, and a full-time corporate job?

Well, my dear daughter, what they say is true—you can do just about anything you put your mind to! No goal is too audacious for you, so don’t be afraid to verbalize what your heart wants. All too often, women shy away from their dreams, thinking that no one will understand. But more than likely, if you say it out loud, someone will be right there to say, “You can do it!” I know I will.

My wish for you—and for all young women—is that you won’t waste time and energy hating your body or questioning your ambitions. Your body is beautiful and your dreams are valid. End of story. Until you are a mom or an auntie, it may be difficult for you to fathom just how much I love you, but I think that the poem on the special picture your Grandma Leslie cross-stitched for me sums it up.

My Daughter
All the dreams
I prayed you’d be—
are all the things
you are—
You were once my little girl—
and now
my shining star.

You’re still a little girl, but you’re already my shining star! And rest assured that you will inherit said picture one day. I may be ambitious, but I draw the line at cross-stitching!

Love,

Mommy

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