Dear Linnea,
As we wait for your new brother or sister to arrive, I want to document this important moment in our lives! You won’t be able to read this for a few years, but I want you to know what an impact you’ve had on me. When women first become mothers, it’s not uncommon for them lose their sense of self, at least temporarily. I feel so lucky, because when you were born, I finally found myself.
Leading up to your arrival, my life had been full of ups and downs. I switched jobs every year or two, failed at my first marriage, and struggled with anxiety. Sure, I had seen modest success in my life, but I was always searching for something. The day that I found out I was pregnant with you, something inside of me clicked.
As my belly began to grow, I gained a new appreciation for my body. I’d always been athletic and thin, but like so many women, I still had body image issues. Not all the time—the self-consciousness came in waves, probably when I was struggling with some larger issue. But I loved the physical sensation of being pregnant, and I didn’t even mind sporting a jelly belly in the months after your birth. It was all for a larger purpose, and I finally grasped the notion that I am much more than a body.
When you were about eight months old, I did some serious thinking about what I wanted for my life, and you inspired that. I realized that to be the best mom I can be, I also need to be the best me I can be. It’s my job to show you how to live a good life—not how to live your life, but what it looks like to be full-of-life, to be fulfilled. So I dug deep and asked myself what I really wanted, and the answer scared me to death. Among other things, I wanted to write a book. How could I possibly do that with a husband, a baby, and a full-time corporate job?
Well, my dear daughter, what they say is true—you can do just about anything you put your mind to! No goal is too audacious for you, so don’t be afraid to verbalize what your heart wants. All too often, women shy away from their dreams, thinking that no one will understand. But more than likely, if you say it out loud, someone will be right there to say, “You can do it!” I know I will.
My wish for you—and for all young women—is that you won’t waste time and energy hating your body or questioning your ambitions. Your body is beautiful and your dreams are valid. End of story. Until you are a mom or an auntie, it may be difficult for you to fathom just how much I love you, but I think that the poem on the special picture your Grandma Leslie cross-stitched for me sums it up.
My Daughter
All the dreams
I prayed you’d be—
are all the things
you are—
You were once my little girl—
and now
my shining star.
You’re still a little girl, but you’re already my shining star! And rest assured that you will inherit said picture one day. I may be ambitious, but I draw the line at cross-stitching!
Love,
Mommy
Beautiful. I have always said that being a mother is the best job in the world and you exemplify that in word and deed.
Auntie Suta recently posted..For those of you who think Im a saint- think again
Aw, thank you! I had some good role models growing up!
I dont have much to say on the topic, other than, Linnea is really going to love this and as she gets older she’ll learn to appreciate it more and more.
Adam Wells recently posted..My rules on seeing movies
I hope you’re right!
I will have to pull some things like this out when she’s a teenager and thinks that she hates me!
Oh Emma, this is so beautiful. I just cried a bit. Linnea is so lucky to have such a great mommy and you are the best role model for her. You are so amazing at all you do and it makes me want to strive to be a better person, not only for the ones around me, but most of all for myself. Thank you for being a great friend and “sister” to me over the years. If you need any time for you before the baby is born, just let me know!
I like this: “…most of all for myself.” Yes! You have done so much for yourself over the past few years–very proud of you!
This is so precious!!
Alecia @ Hoobing Family Adventures recently posted..PInterest and Images of May Using Instagram and Flipboard
Thanks, Alecia! Isn’t being a mom great?
Can I just steal this for Piper and rearrange it a little bit?
No, seriously, this is beautiful. You’re a beautiful person and a fabulous mother. Linnea and baby brother or sister are so lucky to have you as their mom.
Can’t wait to meet the new little one. XOXO
It’s super fun to have the kids close! I can’t believe we’re at 8 kids!
awww!!! that is so so sweet, made tears well up in my eyes. I truly think a mother/daughter relationship is one of the best there is. and you have such a tight bond with her and she is going to blossom into a wonderful older sister, I just know it! And you are an excellent mom, I can just see that too…and I admire that so.
Jolene recently posted..Random conversations with M- Part II
Thanks, Jolene! Like you, I had good practice being an auntie first.
Oh, Emma! What a beautiful post. Linnea will cherish this one for years. I’m so excited for you, Josh & Linnea…these next few days will be precious and moving into the sibling stage is even more profound…I’ll never forget the moment Ellie & Caroline met just hours after Caroline’s arrival. It’s still one of the most amazing memories as a parent — instanteous love abounds, my dear.
Please let me know if I can help out in anyway before Baby #2 arrives or even after…we’d love to have Linnea down for a playdate.
Be well, my dear friend. You are just absolutely amazing!
Love ya!
You are so sweet! I can’t wait for Linnea to meet the baby. We talk about it every day. She’s getting so that she can tell the story! Hope you are well!
There’s nothing like the role of *Mother* is there?
It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do…I’m so thankful I have been given this role…
Yep, and we just have to keep reminding ourselves of that when things get rough!
What a wonderful letter. She will definitely treasure it. But hey, don’t rule out cross-stitch…you may just find yourself loving it some day. Or not.
Thanks, Nancy! You might be right about cross-stitch. Who knows? It’s impressive, for example, that you’ve taken more to cooking since retiring. Maybe I’ll become super-crafty someday.