If you ask my dear daughter, Linnea—almost two—how her diaper is, she will invariably say, “Pretty good,” which means one of two things:
a) her diaper is, indeed, pretty good, or
b) my little sweetie is, quite literally, full of shit.
It seems that from a young age, we are hardwired to kid ourselves, to slip into a lovely state of denial. Linnea doesn’t intend to be deceptive; she simply sees things the way she wants to see them. And don’t we all?
Even though her answers have proven unreliable, I continue to ask, “Linnea, how is your diaper?” It’s adorable to watch her look up at me with her baby blues and say, “Pwiddy goo-od, momm-my! Pwiddy good,” nodding all the while. But I also hope that one of these times, she’ll realize that she may as well fess up—I always find out when she’s carrying around a big load. I’ve got a nose for nonsense. And poopy diapers.
*****
I Want to Know
Is this common toddler behavior?
What do you tend to kid yourself about?
I think you are asking the wrong question. “Do you have poop in your diaper?” might be more effective. That isn’t nebulous, you have empirical proof to show her.
I am one of the world’s greatest procrastinators and I honestly believe that I will do what needs to be done… when I get home, tomorrow morning, later today, or just sometime. As they say, call me Cleopatra, Queen of Denial.
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I’m pretty sure she knows exactly what I’m asking her, but it would be a fun experiment to try your question and see how she responds. I bet I’ll get yet another “pretty good, mommy!”
I procrastinate about certain things, but not others. Top of my list: folding laundry.
Dear Auntie,
Ahhh, but what if she’s asking exactly the right question to get what she wants, which is obviously to hear Linnea say, “Pwiddy goo-od, momm-my! Pwiddy good.” Plenty of time to find out about a load!
I recently heard about a new organization you should look into, Procrastinators Unite (tomorrow).
Anyway, over the last couple of years I decided to start saying what’s really on my mind, and it’s very weird. People say, “Hi, how are you?” And I say stuff like, “I feel like crap!” Or, when feeling impossible, in the best Emma sense of the word, “I need an easier question.” I can say that people have no idea how to react to the truth in response to innocuous-ness, but it’s fun to watch.
I like it when people say what’s really up when you ask “How are you?” It’s refreshing. And usually, if you have something bad to report, it can be done with a sense of humor.
Pete, you should really adopt the best answer to that question ever invented (by the Coen Bros, no less)…
“Ohhhh, strikes and gutters dude.”
I concur.
My daughter is 22-months and sometimes when I ask her if she “went poo-poo” she fesses up to it, but other times she denies it because she hates having her diaper changed. I cannot quite figure out why the honesty sometimes but not others but if I do, I will let you know. Maybe it’s uncomfortable sometimes or when she is around other kids that she wants it changed…hmmm.
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I, for one, am very much looking forward to successful potty training! Linnea is showing a lot of interest in underpants lately, so maybe that will help!
Poop notwithstanding, that’s adorable. And good verbal skills for a sub-two-year-old, right?
My son is almost 2.5, and he has hated diaper changes for a while. I think it’s like a turtle on its back–they feel helpless. The standing diaper change, while harder for this changer, seems more acceptable to the changee.
Regarding self-reporting, we’re making progress and getting more specific. For the last 2-3 months, his loathing of the diaper change has finally been outweighed by his loathing of poop in his pants. When it comes to “just pee,” I think he would keep the same diaper for three days if it were up to him. So now when we ask HIM about his diaper, he says, “No poop, just pee,” in a very matter-of-fact way…as if the current pee-soaked diaper is a-ok for the time being.
Oh, you made me laugh out loud with the same diaper for three days! The standing diaper change is definitely a struggle.
Oh, Em, thanks for your writing. I needed a good chuckle this morning. Not only that, but you have got me thinking about denial, a topic I often ponder as I spent YEARS deep in it. As an alcoholic, I became very, very skilled at constructing my “reality” so that it fit how I felt inside. It’s amazing what we will do to protect ourselves (and how we convince ourselves we are indeed able to control our surroundings). I have to say that one of the biggest reliefs and gifts of sobriety is perspective and the ability to discern truth from the fiction my brain still wants to promulgate.
You are such a talented writer… I felt like I could actually see Linny looking up at you, professing the cleanliness of her diaper! Thanks, again.
Thanks for the great comment! You are so insightful these days–so glad you have joined the blogosphere!